I’ve become complacent. I feel this as deeply as I feel the fascia tearing from my pelvis, hips and spine. I feel my tightness being forced to surrender: oh the pain….it’s enlightening…it tells me where I’ve gotten stuck and proud. It not-so-gently awakens me to my more recent reality.
I am thankful for muscle memory…my muscles and tissue tear easily; snapping and ripping from all the falseness and dis-ease they’ve been holding. My bones are strong and hold form while the rest of my body crumples and melts around them.
I smell the toxicity…it is metallic…pride has been masked as dignity, anger has been shrouded with pain….victimhood…helplessness… so much confusion and faux control: it’s all tearing away now.
The destruction is fast and burns like cured pine wood: hot and fast. I feel the refiner’s fire in my veins now….I feel the falsehoods and self-imposed lies under scrutiny.
For now I lay…I lay breathing heavily…sweat dripping… swathed in a state of awareness- no judgement…just observation.
I await the awakening: the awakening of grace replacing pride, peace in place of anger, acceptance for victimhood, strength for helplessness.
Clarity is coming….it bathes my body and mind like the cool mountain streams surrounding me.